I have managed to keep up with 20Q through some perilous times in my life, but the past couple of months have had me hanging off cliffs in Monaco and being chased through the streets of Zimbabwe. I just couldn’t find time to pick up pen and paper when I was being stoned in Afghanistan. I thought things were getting better, but that was like taking my brain out and trading with Paris Hilton. Or Dawn Ostroff (the idiot who’s running The CW). I got nowhere.
And just as things seemed to be settling down, all hell broke loose, but luckily Jesus started following me on twitter, so I think things are on the right track now. With that, accept my apologies for being tardy with the latest update: I’m sorry.*
*Truth be told, my list keeps growing and I get nervous about hitting the send button. Well, more appropriately, tapping my finger on the mousepad when it is hovering over the send link. Like Badu said when she debuted Tyrone, I’m an artist and I’m sensitive about my shit. Every time I go back and read what I have written, I get nervous that people won’t like it. And the larger the readership goes, the more opportunity I have to generate bad reviews. And so forth and so on… yeah, that’s what goes on in my brain. Get over it. I know. I try. That’s why I am here now, ready to tap my finger on said mousepad.
big mike
Interestingly enough, without planning, I seem to keep posting right as one of my family members has a birthday. This time, it’s not as close as usual, but I still want to wish my daddy a happy happy!
paid commercial break
Well, technically, it’s not paid, but I have gotten enough freebies here and there to make me feel like it’s a fair trade.
Lattes on Lenox
Magic Johnson and Starbucks did it first, but Young (“that’s good enough,” she said with a laugh and a shrug as I asked her name.) and il caffe latte do it better. Open just a couple of months, the spot has already amassed a loyal following due to a great atmosphere (lines of small, plant-filled jars hanging on the walls, exposed brick and warm jazz that envelopes you the moment you walk through the door), a delicious menu (I have yet to eat anything bad – the turkey burger, the penne a la vodka, the basil pesto chicken panini, I could go on…) and of course Young’s gracious, energetic and almost, but not quite, over-the-top persona. I thought the combination of these things was what gave the spot its allure, but then I took my food to go. Still good. Then I came in to do some work in the corner. Still good. And then I had a conversation with Young out on the sidewalk. Still crazy. You gotta love it.
In just those two months, il caffe latte’s menu is already evolving – they tried out a slap-you-in-the-face tuna au poivre last week and have added wine and beer to the menu – which is making it even more competitive in a Harlem that consists of (sorry to the establishments I truly love) chicken and waffles and mac and cheese. After repeat visits, you start to notice the intricacies of the place, from Young’s funky twist on beverage glasses to the hand-carved inlay on the doorframe on the bathroom. The design aesthetic alone should garner it some space in any given NYC-based publication that has yet to realize that there are, indeed, restaurants above Central Park.
The fact that Young displays the same dedication to the minutiae of the design and décor of the place as she does to the intricacies of the recipes, shows an intense understanding of her business. Young knows what she is doing and is very deliberate about every decision she makes. When I recently ordered the tiramisu for the first time, Young, who makes it herself, glowed with pride as she gave me my plate. Yes, I have written a virtual Valentine to the place. It’s clear that I am a fan. But, I have no reason not to be. And I watch the other customers; it’s not just me who is enamored. Come in and you’ll see why.
joeland’s 20questions
1. Hanging up on someone is childish, but it makes a definitive statement. Under certain circumstances, is making said definitive statement worth being childish for a minute?
2. Isn’t it about time Dave Chappelle had another block party?
3. So Iowa is more open-minded and advanced than California? Who knew?
4. I was in a bodega recently and noticed a bag of “Southern-style” pork rinds. I’m gonna let you marinate on that one for a while. Take a whole minute. … … … … … … … … … … … okay, now… how does one make a Southern-style pork rind as opposed to a normal pork rind? Better question, why would anyone eat a pork rind? What the hell are they? How can the recipe vary enough to have different styles?
5. Who else loves a hands-free bathroom because it is very clean, in theory, but hates a hands-free bathroom because you stand there waving your hands like crazy trying to wash them and look (and feel) like a tool?
6. Is there anything better than walking into your new apartment and seeing multiple power outlets in each room? I have 6 in my bedroom (that’s 12 actual places I can plug in a cord!!!)
7. How sad am I for question six? If you get excited over electrical outlets, what does that say about your life?
8. Why in the hell is Burger King using this commercial? And why are the broadcast networks airing it? And why does it make someone like me – who’s as liberal as the come – angry? Watch it and you will see.
(actually, it will only answer the last question…)
9. And speaking of insulting Burger King commercials, would I be as insulted by the commercial for the breakfast sliders if the actor they used wasn’t a little person?
10. Or should I be happy he’s getting work?
11. Can I say the same thing about any given Tyler Perry movie and the fact that he’s giving black actors/actresses work despite the fact that the roles embrace every stereotype known to man?
12. I have mentioned it before, but I am still a little obsessed with HBO’s Big Love. By adding such expressions as “sister-wives” and “compound trash” to the national lexicon, shouldn’t they be clocking Sopranos-size ratings and garnering copy cats on the networks?
13. And… what if you’re both a polygamist and gay? Do they have brother-husbands? It seems to defeat the whole purpose of plural marriage, but I cannot help but wonder…
14. Did anyone else really appreciate the “life goes on” mentality with which the producers of ER tackled the series finale? And now, don’t you miss them a little?
15. I was walking by a group of guys who were clearly Harlem born and bred last week. They were surrounding a guy who was holding on to a bar above his head, pulling himself up, doing back flips, etc. I was wondering if they even realized that what they were really doing is gymnastics? Would they watch it on the Olympics or classify that as gay?
16. All over the world people put various forms of narcotics – both legal and illegal – into their bodies. On my recent trip home, however, I realized that smokeless tobacco is something that I only see in rural areas. Why is that?
17. Can you say recession? Has there ever been a TV season in which so many major characters have died? One actor’s salary = the electric bill?
18. Does anyone else lose the bread tie every damn time they open a loaf of bread and then spend way too much time looking for it as they are cleaning up?
19. The hilarious Wanda Sykes (did you see the 2009 White House Correspondents' Association Dinner?) gets a late-night gig on Fox, the not-quite-as-hilarious George Lopez will be working the late-shift on TBS… the face of late-night is changing. Do we give Obama credit for that too?
20. Anybody else ever have a craving for a big-assed salad from Kathy Guthrie’s garden?
why I’m trying to save the game
[editor's note: Unfortunately - but not unsurprisingly - The CW decided to delete THE GAME from its lineup next season. Despite a groundswell of supporters and an uptick in ratings, the decision looks final. The fans have decided to fight back, choosing both TBS and BET as possible outlets for a fourth season. Below are links so you can voice your opinions if you would like to support.]
Kateria has clearly stated her opinion and told me that she is just not a fan. She’s not the only one. Several people have commented when I have shouted out The Game on Facebook and/or Twitter, but let me explain myself. Not that I have to, but because I want you to understand where I am coming from.
When UPN and The WB first came about, they built their networks on the backs of such shows as Homeboys In Outer Space, Sister, Sister, The Wayans Bros., Moesha, The Parkers and the late, great Girlfriends. If you recognize those titles, you get the direction I am going. As start-up networks, they created niche programming, paying next to nothing for their shows, and generating millions in ad revenue. As they became more successful, there was a whitewashing of their schedules. I’m not saying that they are wrong for canceling shows like The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer (certainly, they are not), but they quickly realized that they were really hitting two demographics pretty strongly: young white girls (12-21) and the “urban” demographic, which really means “black” but people are afraid to say it.
As both networks found success, they also found failure. Dawson’s Creek was a huge water cooler show back when people actually talked about TV around the water cooler. At the same time, their version of Star Trek crumbled quickly. Eventually the two networks decided to merge into The CW. When they did, all of the shows got huge ads on buses, trains, etc., you know, all the usual places TV networks advertise their fall schedules. Interestingly enough, Girlfriends, the highest-rated show on either network at the time, got the least amount of ads. Okay… we could argue that the highest-rated needed the least amount of support. We could argue that. But wouldn’t we feel stupid for it?
The CW quickly made the decision that going after the young white girl demographic was much more their speed and wasted no time shoving the “black block” of shows onto Sunday night, which would have been great had they been on ABC, but since this was The CW, their ratings declined. When they realized the mistake, they changed the schedule back to Monday nights, where these shows - Everybody Hates Chris (which would be an Emmy Award winner had it been on NBC), Girlfriends, The Game, Half and Half - had been flourishing for quite some time. Slowly, they were picked off.
And then, in the midst of its final season – it’s eighth season – the writers’ strike brought calamity to Girlfriends, a show produced by Fraiser, himself, a show that garnered both critical and commercial success, a show that was once the most-improved in year-to-year audiences of any show on TV. Claiming that it was “much too expensive” to go back and film a final farewell to the series, the network decided to end it abruptly after the last episode filmed before the strike began. This unceremonious dumping of a show with legions of fans (at the beginning of the 2007 – 2008 season, the show was the highest-rated scripted show on TV among African-American households), was the equivalent of NBC pulling the plug on Friends just before Ross and Rachel finally made their way back to each other. Realistically, Girlfriends never pulled Friends numbers, but it was just as loved by their loyal fans who had stayed with them for eight years.
So, now, as Chris Rock is ready to move on from Everybody Hates Chris and The CW has decided that they are doing away with all half-hour shows, The Game, a spin-off of Girlfriends, has a life-expectancy of… well, who knows? The finale airs May 15th at 8:00 p.m. EST time. Creator Mara Brock-Akil has made a last-ditch attempt to save the show by pitching it as an hour-long dramedy. The finale is their one chance to make an impression. If the numbers are good enough – I wonder what “good enough” is? – there’s a chance Dawn Ostroff (told you about her earlier) will give them the go ahead for one more year.
Now, I will not profess to love this show. But, I will profess to love Girlfriends and I want the woman who created it to keep her job. With the exception of Shonda Rhymes, how many other black women are there out there running TV shows? I also want these actors and actresses and writers and directors and lighting technicians and grips and production assistants and so on to keep their jobs. I want The CW to realize that there actually is a desire for shows with casts where the oldest member is 25. And that viewers welcome all races (one of the reasons I love LOST is that the cast is so diverse.). I want The CW to understand listen to their fans. I want the fans to understand that they must do something as opposed to complain when things don’t go their way. I want people to realize they have the power to generate whatever they want. And there you have it. I will step off my soapbox now.
on the menu
hmmm… I should put the name here, but I don’t really call it anything. I just cook it and eat it.
joe’s no-name chicken
Chicken (I buy boneless, skinless breasts, but…)
French Salad Dressing (not the creamy kind; the reddish-orange version)
Nature’s Seasoning (made by Morton’s and sold in most grocery stores. It is NOT sold in NYC. I do, however, have a few extra packets for sell in my kitchen.)
Fresh lemon or lime (don’t go buy it specifically; just throw some in if you happen to have one laying around.)
Marinate the chicken for some time period between 30 minutes and overnight. Then, you can grill it, bake it or sauté it on the stovetop. Being a NYC-based guy, with no grill, I often cook it in my All-Clad grill pan so I can get the pretty lines. As the excess marinade starts to get thick and stick, just add a little water to the pan to deglaze it and create a sauce. When you’re done, serve with rice and vegetables. Or, on a salad. Or (and this one the sandwich-lover in me cannot resist), put it on a really, really fresh bun with some mayo (haha – of course, I would add mayo) and cheese… and bacon because bacon makes everything better. This might be my favorite sandwich ever. Okay, that’s the recipe. Eat up!
poetry corner
I recently realized that I am always singing the praises (no pun intended) of various independent soul artists, but music isn’t my only love. Maybe I was trying to keep out the competition, but I have never featured another writer. Then, one day I happened across a poem written by fellow former Tennessean and current New Yorker (although he’s Brooklyn and I’m Harlem), Kashan Fields. It was on Facebook, the best place to find new artists (be it writers, singers, photographers, etc.). I asked; he said yes. Here it is:
Metamorphasis
a poem by Kashan Fields
I am the tiger
in a restless land
If you cross my path
I'll rip off your hand.
Not because I'm savage
but so you'll understand
It's the play of nature
And also the plight of man.
Living day to day
It's easy to forget
We come with purpose
And we need to nurture it
Like a caterpillar
It turns into a butterfly
One day she is walking
But learned to fly
I am the morning,
with the sun I rise
Get as clean as the new grass
Once the dirt is out of my eyes
I walk into the distance
Shining bright as can be
Entering into the unknown
Finding new possibilities
As I learn to conquer, persevere & endure
My history I shall establish
My journey I shall secure
I stand to my last battle
until my last breath has been drawn
To fulfill my full destiny
To sing my final song
fyi: current events in harlem
unpaid commercial break
I mentioned Sandra Kolka’s Sprezzatura before, but I did not debut the business cards as I wanted her to have a chance to distribute them first. Here’s the debut of one of the world’s premier food pornographer’s press kit, if you will. She is available anywhere around the globe, but based out of Atlanta. If you haven’t had the pleasure of eating her food, you have not really lived. Gluttony, anyone?
I’ve mentioned them before as well, but Collin Abraham’s Pollen Nation has moved to a new location on 125th Street. The flowers are, as always, spectacular, and the store itself has an amazing display of vases for sale. Honestly, if I bought every one that I like, my house would look stupid because I would have vases sitting every-damn-where. And to all those naysayers who sleep on businesses in Harlem, let me remind you that Mr. Abraham is no novice. Besides doing the arrangements for Beyonce’s album release/birthday party for B-Day, he also did designs for L.A. Reid and Puff before Beyonce called him back to design her wedding to Jay-Z. And if musicians don’t impress you, he was in charge of planning and décor for the capitol for President Obama’s inauguration. Enough said.
In conjunction with LT Productions, the store also hosts a continuing networking/mingling event called Thurst4Life in their bohemian backyard. You could visit the site (a href=”http://www.pollennation.net”>www.pollennation.net), but it would behoove you to take a trip to One-Two-Five and walk through the shop yourself. 11 East 125th street, between Madison & 5th Avenue, Harlem, NYC, 212.860.2022
an interview
While one could surmise that my musical tastes seem to run exclusively in the soul vein, I actually have an appreciation for all music. Witness the shock on KimberlyNichole’s face when she found Dolly Parton in my iTunes (by the way, shout out to Dolly for 4 Tony nominations for 9 to 5 the musical.). The latest discovery I have been playing a lot is Richard Doran Ticho’s Mellow Dramatic, which Ticho describes as “classic rock... and a mix of funk and others...” I put some emphasis on “and others,” as I heard blues, reggae and even a little country when I listened to the disc for the first time.
We recently had a conversation via Facebook chat and here’s an excerpt:
joseph riley land: Where can people find your project? Richard Doran Ticho: Well... my first CD... Mellow Dramatic is available almost everywhere... online at least. It’s on iTunes... cdbaby... just about everywhere.
joseph riley land: And what’s the deal with your next project? Richard Doran Ticho: Mellow Dramatic was very serious. My next CD, Some Antics, is less serious and more upbeat... it will be recorded at a live concert event...
joseph riley land: I have listened to your music. I know artists hate to be put in a box, but let’s be real; it’s going to happen. How do you classify your sound? Richard Doran Ticho: Classic rock... and a mix of funk and others... but iTunes has me down as Pop. Go figure.
joseph riley land: Haha.. that’s funny. I wouldn’t say pop. It’s definitely a blend. I heard some reggae on Happiness is Real, some blues in Big Bottom Lip… it’s, without a doubt, an intriguing blend. Richard Doran Ticho: Hahaha… maybe... Latin... Dance... something... Hip-Hop... Wait until you hear Ricardo Montalban. You won't know what to think. Interestingly enough The Garden State and Mellow Dramatic are my top selling songs. The Garden State out-sells everything else by 10.
joseph riley land: What’s your website info? Richard Doran Ticho: www.ticho.com
joseph riley land: Where can people find you live? Richard Doran Ticho: I am planning a big show for this summer in NYC... and working on a tour... that will be part of my website... www.voiceofpeace.com.
joseph riley land: What is Voice of Peace? Richard Doran Ticho: The VOP will be a pro-peace tour with several acts or... should I say... a concert against violence.
joseph riley land: That information is on your site? Richard Doran Ticho: Yes.
(Ricardo Montalban by Richard Doran Ticho)
quote(s) of the month
“Ab!-solutely not!!”
- Mikel Welch
“Touch velvet; it calms you down.”
- Joan Rivers, winner and most hilarious contestant ever on The Celebrity Apprentice.
peace out homies,
lovepeace&chickengrease,
joseph riley land
